Go On
by KuroyamiAkai
Summary: It was almost year after the last chapter of Ai no Kusabi in Dana Bahn, yet here Iason Mink stood, never again will he see his beloved. An angst I have written based on an illustration I had came across. One shot.


It was nothing more than a dream, a dream that would cause pain the moment he awoke from it. Iason Mink stood on his balcony, feeling as the night wind caressed his face. He felt anger and pain; the deepest of his desire wrapped him in chains, his longing and thirst will never quench, never satisfy.

For years he had held him, his precious mongrel pet, felt his skin against him, caressing his every being. Those times however felt short, like a distant dream for someone like Iason Mink. It was barely a year after the events of Dana-Bahn. Raoul had covered up the whole thing by convincing the citizens that it was nothing but a pathetic attempt from terrorist to create a riot. But to Iason Mink, it was more than that.  
It was the day when he had chosen to die with his Riki, not as his master, but as his lover. It was there that their story was fated to end and Iason would gladly welcome death with Riki by his side.

But now…

Words cannot describe the turmoil he felt when he woke up in Raoul's lab, alive and fully functional. His good friend glanced at him with irritation, supposedly having something to say but held his tongue instead. Iason however, was plunge into anger when he finally understood what had happened.

Iason Mink was a blondy. If allowed, he could be revived multiple times with different bodies and even have his memories transferred into the new being that was built solely for him. In other words, a blondy is immortal. Death is never once an option.  
Yet what consumed him drove him even further into the pits of hell. Raoul, no, Jupiter was cruel enough to bring him back alive….and alone.

As everything clicked in place all Iason was capable of was to search his friend for an answer, hoping that even by a small chance, Riki would still be alive, somewhere in his chambers, waiting for him reluctantly, and that he would greet him with that dark eyes so full of hate, yet still longed for him. The slum mongrel that can never deny him.

Alas however, Raoul could only shake his head in answer to Iason's inaudible question. Riki was dead, and he would never grace the blondy with his presence again.  
"I am sorry, truly," Was what Raoul said when he gently placed a ring in Iason's palm. It was a ring that the blondy recognize, and the pet registration number etched into the silver.  
"Riki…" His voice was raw and dry and the pain that stabbed into him was incomprehensible. He was a blondy incapable of such feelings…yet why…?

Jupiter had willed him to be brought back to life and suffer in the memories of his lost beloved as a punishment. Now all Iason wanted was to dive back into death. Even those years when he had removed Riki's pet ring was plain agony to him, how he had to resist himself from driving into Ceres and bring Riki back, even if he had to drag him on a leash. But now, Riki was no more, how was he suppose to live through this?

Now Iason lingered on the balcony, relieving back the memories of his first moments in this new body. The past months were nothing but a drag, his usual self turned colder than before, fazed by nothing. He had refused to welcome anymore pets into his residence and would only leave his penthouse for work and nothing more, even when Aisha had threatened him with different methods so he would attend the soirees he organized. He would simply ignore him, retreating back into his penthouse, wanting nothing more but to be alone.  
No one, not even Katze or Raoul was allowed to disturb him, unless he permitted it. He had spent the months in silence, only allowing himself contact with the outside world unless he had no other choice, keeping up an icy cold mask even more solid than what he always had on previously, a blank slate of wall that alienated him to the rest of the world.

He would mourn for Riki in silence; the ring that the mongrel had once worn now clasped his left ring finger. Oh how he cursed the fates for ripping them apart, and how he cursed Jupiter for bringing him back. Now he felt nothing, like an empty cocoon that would only walk and one day ware itself up. Things would even be better if he no longer remembers, yet never did he dared to confront Raoul about this, wanting to hold on those jewel-like memories that he had of his wild mongrel pet.  
Yes, surely he had started off as a cruel master, wanting to taste the excitement to raise a pet such as Riki. It all happened on a whim, yet how had he fallen so helplessly for this mongrel? He remembered the times when Riki would moan in bed, begging him for more even with reluctance. His eyes would cry, and his lips would tremble as he reached a hand for Iason.

_You are my pet.  
You belong to me.  
I have not permitted you to leave me..._

The door slid open and Raoul entered the balcony with caution. He had been around Iason and knew what he had gone through. As a blondy, he could not understand why Iason could feel so much pain and agony over the whole episode and towards a lowly mongrel too, but as a friend, he wanted nothing more but to comfort him. Jupiter had ordered that Iason be returned exactly the same way when he died and this had caused him pain.  
"What is it?" Iason asked, not even looking around.

"You asked of me a favour I cannot deny, Iason," Raoul reminded him "And I have tried my best," At this, Iason turned, suddenly noticing a boy standing beside his friend.  
The boy had dark eyes and equally dark hair, and his build was beautiful, striking at least. He wore a white linen that sheltered his tanned skin and he looked at Iason with a blank emotion.  
He looked exactly like how Riki was the day Iason had claimed him as pet.

"Riki!" Iason walked over to the boy, pulling him into an embrace. The boy did not resist, allowing the blondy to hold him but Iason however, felt strange and alien, suddenly noticing the difference of the boy to Riki. He was no more than a being borne of Raoul's experiments, shaped into his previous lover.  
He pulled the boy an arm's length away and studied him, looking straight into his eyes only to see an empty soul. Riki was long dead and he will never be back.

Realizing this, the blondy fell to his knees, holding on to the prototype "Riki" that Raoul had created and for the first time in his blondy life, he wept. The pain was even more raw and fresh and it felt like someone is ripping him apart.

_This is not Riki._

No matter how similar this prototype was to the mongrel, it was not him, and he can never be him.

_Riki is no more._

He knew that, but reality seemed harsh as ever, plunging it's fangs into Iason's very being, tying him to the sharp of it's blade.

_He will never be back._

Never will Iason have him in his embrace, to awake with the mongrel beside him, his guard let down and sleeping soundly within his silken sheets. Never will he taste the sweet nectar and hear his melodious voice.

How could a blondy, a head of the syndicate such as him fall to such a level?

Raoul watch as his friend crumble, his emerald eyes taking in the whole scene. For once he felt the pain that Iason suffers from, knowing full well that it was by his hands and Jupiter's will that he had plunge Iason into this agony.  
He used to disagree to Iason's 'love' for his pet but he had long ago acknowledge the genuine and raw emotion his blondy friend had for the mongrel, even to permit himself to die in Dana Bahn's scorching flames for the pet's sake.

The prototype "Riki" merely watched as the blondy knelt in front of him, incapable of speech and reasoning, all he could do was watch with a blank expression. It was a rare sight indeed to see tears on a blondy's face. Even Iason never thought that he was capable of it, but now the hot liquid poured down, soaking his already weak will to go on.  
Yet that was the only thing he could do. That was the only thing Iason could do for now as the head of the syndicate, a blondy of such high status. He could only…go on.

* * *

_**Phew! Finally got that out of my chest! Basically, I have been inspired to write this oneshot when I saw this picture: art/regret-32140451  
Truly, the artist(egosun) had done a good job with it and I could only feel pain and longing when I saw the illustration. As so, credits goes to that artist and I hope you enjoyed this fic! I have an ongoing fanfiction for Ai No Kusabi too, so do check it out :3 Oh and reviews are greatly welcome!  
Ps, still trying to improve my English so do bare with me~**_


End file.
